Monday, April 23, 2007
The white nothing, a compact white feeling. Like a porridge.
A world without any reference points : without up, without down, but with a track left behind.
Forward, there is all white. There is nothing or maybe there is everything.
Maybe everything exists in front of me ?
The future is uncertain, next step might go upward or it might go downward.
Without a point of reference, time and space disappear.
Your brain starts to spin.
Is there a mountain ahead or is it only my mind spinning?
Where am I about to go?
My eyes are constantly trying to find a spot to focus on but everything is white, only white.
But there is something, a small spot. I focus on it, it’s hard, no there’s nothing. The small something is only some dust on my sunglasses
Heading onward, I start to sweat. It might be uphill, uphill since I sweat and there, far away are the contours of a mountain, something to focus both eyes and mind on for a while.
Then it disappears.
Once more I’m alone in the totally white world and I would probably be frightened if there would not be a track left after my skies and if the four others were not following in these tracks.
This is what keeps me going in the right direction. And there, in the back, Ulli is pointing out the direction. I have been drifting out of the course once more.
I correct my skies, I turn my head forward into the white nothingness.
Into my soul and my own self.
Into the white world where only my own mind creates the reference.
It’s white out once more, it’s white out.
“White out” is an expression for when snow fall, low clouds or snow drift by wind, lower the visibility and together with the snow covered surface make everything white.